I am back at work today. Last week was pretty much a disaster!! I felt too dizzy and light headed, I just could not work at all really. I went to the hospital again on Friday because I nearly fainted again. Luckily, I knew what was coming this time and was able to sit down before I fell down. I was at the hospital most of Friday and they could not find anything wrong with me. They said that my temperature, blood pressure and blood cell count were fine (the injections are working!) and I was showing no signs of an infection. The doctor said that I had nothing to worry about and I just had to take it easy and not rush about.
Over the course of the weekend I felt better, and now my head is ok, I am just feeling extreme tiredness. I have heard that the fatigue can get worse during the last stages of the treatment. I think this is what may be happening. Also, when I started this treatment, the consultant warned me that menstruation can stop and it did. On Friday, it strangely came back again which I think may have contributed to this problem with my head.
I am pleased it has started again even though I had stomach pains all Saturday, as I think it shows that my body is fighting to function normally. Also, chemotherapy can bring on early menopause, and that was always in the back of my mind too.
So, I am hoping to have a more productive week this week. As long as I keep going to bed very early, I think it will be ok. We ended up having a fun weekend babysitting our little nieces and nephews on Saturday night, going to a BBQ on Sunday and out for lunch in Arundel yesterday.
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Well it turns out that my blood is low in potassium. I have just come back from an afternoon at the hospital with Dad. They did a blood test, then I had to wait ages for the results and then the Doctor came and told me that they were going to give me potassium tablets and to eat bananas and crisps which are high in it apparently.
Then we came home (via the supermarket to get the bananas and crisps) and Dad gave me the injection. I am so glad it wasn’t another infection, I was getting worried this morning. My blood pressure is normal, so is my temperature and my red blood count is ok, so it is not anaemia. Phew!!
While I was in the ward, I saw a lady who I met when I was in hospital with the infection. She recognised me too. She also has Non-Hodgkins, but she has got it for the second time. She is off up to London shortly for stem cell treatment and she is on massive doses of chemo, where she has to stay in hospital overnight. She seemed to take it all in her stride, and said that they think that this treatment will cure her. The lady in the bed on the other side of me had tumours in her lungs and breast cancer as well and tomorrow is going for the results of a brain scan to see if it has spread there. I felt so sorry for her, she looked so ill and really fed up. I wished her luck with her results and she said that she was terrified. It is a very sobering experience being on a cancer ward, everyone looks so ill and scared. It sounds very selfish, but I am longing for the days when I don’t have to go there anymore.
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I have been feeling wobbly and a bit dizzy for a few days so am off to the hospital later for then to take some blood. They think I may be anaemic. I do not feel unwell, just extremely tired, much more than usual and my eyes feel sore. My head feels fuzzy and I spoke to one of the nurses this morning who said that I shouldn’t really be feeling like this. Will update later…..
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I am back at work today. Feel very tired, but it is good to have something else to think about. I did not take any sleeping tablets last night. Was wide awake at 3.30am! Managed to get back to sleep for a bit though. Could not get out of bed this morning when it was time to get up. Agghh!!
It is the first day of my GCSF injections today. Dad is coming round later on to do it. Lucky him!!
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I did not go to work today, I am very sleepy and drowsy. I have been taking sleeping pills on top of the antibiotics, steroids and chemo, and I think it is taking its toll now. The problem is that I can’t get to sleep because of the steroids, and I need to sleep so have been taking the sleeping pills. I come off the steroids tomorrow though and don’t think I will need the sleeping pills now.
I have just been doing some research on the internet, and it does say that sometimes the fatigue can get worse towards the end of treatment. So, I am just sitting on the sofa with a large cup of tea, watching last night’s Hell’s Kitchen!
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I am exhausted today and can hardly walk. The steroids certainly take their toll quickly. It is worse this time because chemo was delayed so a longer time has elapsed since I have taken any steroids, my knees are really achy and swollen and my legs ached so much in the night I could not get comfortable. I was also awake until 1am when I gave up and decided to put my light on and read my book. I went to sleep at about 2.30am and woke up at about 6am. So am still very tired today. I have just been pottering about the house, stairs are a bit tricky, each trip take about 5 minutes!!
I have been reading a good book by Lance Armstrong, the Tour De France winner, who had cancer. A colleague bought me a copy and I read it in about a week. It is a very inspiring story. I would recommend it, even to people who have not had cancer.
It was a long day yesterday. Even though my appointment was at 11.30 I was still there with Dad until about 4.30. The veins in my hands are totally ruined now, so they have to put the canular in further up my arm, and even that required two attempts by the ward sister. I have a big green bruise on my arm! I had a crying episode towards the end, I have these all the time, every day at least twice a day, and have always put it down to the side effects of the chemo – they said that I would suffer mood swings. The ward sister who came to see if I was alright seemed a bit more concerned though and thinks I need to speak to the Macmillan nurse and maybe a counsellor. She thinks it may be delayed shock because of how quickly everything happened. It feels a bit like bereavement as well. I had a long chat with the ward sister and she was very helpful and sympathetic. She asked me if I had told anyone about the crying and I said I hadn’t, it just came out of nowhere, not because I was thinking about anything in particular. She is going to have a talk to the Macmillan nurse because she thinks it would help me to talk to someone about things. I have never seen a counsellor before so I don’t know what this will be like, but I know it helps a lot of people and if it helps the crying to stop, then I think it will be worth it. Even though friends and family are amazing, extremely supportive, kind and patient with me, there are so many emotions that you go through that you cannot explain to people and I think other people would only understand if they had been through it themselves.
Well, I will see how I get on I suppose. Only one more treatment to go now, so must keep thinking positive. Dad has written it in my diary in big capital letters! We met a nice man in the waiting room yesterday who was waiting for his wife. She was on treatment number 20 of Herceptin for breast cancer, which she must have for the rest of her life every three weeks. She had also had tumours in her brain that had been removed by surgery and a tumour in her back. He said that she was doing fantastically well though and he seemed very proud of her. To have to go through that little lot and then have drugs every three weeks for life must be very hard. I have been so lucky in so many respects I think.
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I had number 5 today. It was ok, was at the hospital for a long time. I feel ok, just very tired so will head off to bed very shortly. A bit of a lie in called for tomorrow I think!
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I have just been to the hospital to see my consultant and have another blood test, and the neutrophil count is back up again, yay!!
This means that I can have chemotherapy on Friday. I am so pleased, not because I like chemotherapy, but because it will be another one out of the way and the finishing line is in sight!
The consultant has said that after the chemo on Friday, I must have injections every day of a drug that boosts my white cell count and stops it from dropping below a certain point. If I do this, hopefully I will not have this problem again and chemo number 6 can go ahead without being delayed. She asked me if I could inject myself, but I don’t think I can, I don’t mind the needles now, but I always look away so I don’t see them going in. So, guess who has the joyful task of sticking a needle in my leg each day? Well of course, my patient and caring husband to be. Don’t worry Chris, you will be a natural….
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I have been booked in for another blood test on Tuesday morning at the pathology clinic in the hope that the white blood cell level (neutrophils) will have come back up. Chemotherapy is booked for next Friday morning if all is well.
I have been doing a bit of research to see if there is something I can eat or do to boost it, but apparently, there is nothing you can eat that will do it. I have been eating a lot of vegetables, especially ones high in iron like brocoli to boost the immune system generally. Chris and I discovered a good old fashioned butcher’s shop yesterday and bought some red meat…..
So, fingers crossed, it will be ok for Tuesday. If not, I am going to ask for another one of those injections that I had in hospital that do boost the blood count. It is horrible – they stick a needle right in the stomach, but it worked when I was in hospital so I might just have to suffer it again!!
I have done an hour of yoga this morning ( I even have a proper mat now courtesty of E Bay) and am waiting for Chris to come home from football so we can have lunch (more vegetables!).
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I went to see one of the consultants today for my pre-chemotherapy check up and blood test and he said everything was fine, so after trying to avoid the packed waiting room, I went on my way to work. When I got there I had a voicemail message from the doctor asking me to phone him and when I did, he said that he had had my neutrophil count back from the lab, and it was too low, which means I cannot have my chemotherapy tomorrow. I now have to go back in one weeks time to see if it has increased. If it has, I can have chemotherapy.
So at the moment, I am neutropenic, which means that my blood count is very low and I am more susceptible to infection than usual. My chemotherapy has been put back a week which means it is another week until the end of my treatment, and that is only if I am ok to have it next week. So I am fed up today.
One good thing did happen today though. I went to the hospital a bit early and went to the maternity ward to see my friend Angela who yesterday gave birth to a baby boy. They let me in for 5 minutes even though it wasn’t visiting time and so I was able to see her and the new baby, who is my little godson. He was asleep this morning, but hopefully I will be able to see him soon when he is awake!
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