The Frank Diary of Anne

A variation on a theme for you all today.

Since day 1 when I set up this Weblog for Anne I haven’t commented on her entries, I originally set it up as an outlet for her, of course I was always there as were both of our families and her closest friends, but I thought it would be a good way to record things, she could always see how she felt during each cycle of treatment and it would also give her something to look back at, which will always remind her (and us) how strong she is, and also how well she can cope with extreme situations.

It has however proved to be more than that.

Its given Anne a way to communicate with the masses of people that care about her, and also provided a way for the love we have for her to be shown, I know that all of your kind comments have given her strength during the low points.

It’s also given her an outlet, somewhere to say whatever she wanted wherever she was, without bottling anything up.

Where does it go now?

I’m sure Anne will continue to update her blog as we go towards the upcoming tests, and I hope that going forward she can continue to use it, hopefully with more positive entries. Whatever happens, I know it has been worthwhile. Thank you all for your very kind and supportive comments, we certainly couldn’t have done it without you and we look forward to seeing you at our wedding, which has managed to creep up on us almost unnoticed!

Chris

Thankyou

Thank you to those who have made such kind comments on my last post.  

People often say to me how brave they think I have been, but in reality, braveness does not really come into it. I did what the doctors told me to do, and tried to be sensible, have the treatment and that was it really. The last six months have been extremely hard, but the alternative to going through the treatment was not something I wanted to contemplate! I think that most people who find themselves in this sort of position would do whatever they could to get back to health again and take the doctor’s advice.  

I am very tired this week. I spent the weekend in bed mostly or lying on the sofa and did not go out for two days, the weather was awful so it was not worth going out anyway. I went to work yesterday but was exhausted by the afternoon so came home at about 4.00. I am having a “rest day” today, just sleeping, reading the paper and watching the tv etc. 

I was just reading quite an interesting article in the paper about something called “chemobrain” where people’s cognitive skills are affected long term by chemo drugs. I have not heard of this before, and the article is saying that people are not warned about it before they have chemotherapy. People apparently feel the effects of the tiredness and the forgetfulness months and even years after their treatment has finished. The recommendation is that you keep the brain active with puzzles and things and this helps. Even though many people thought I was bonkers to keep going to work throughout my treatment, I am so glad I did because I really felt that it was helping to put my mind to other things. I do forget things sometimes and get in a muddle, but generally, I think my brain has been ok. I found it is easy to become very lazy and not do a thing, but even though physically you may be a bit of a wreck, the mental side still needs stimulating. 

So, I start my injections today to boost the bone marrow. I have come off the steroids today for the last time. I am constantly hungry and have been waking up in the night again, but am drinking plenty of water to try and help flush them out of my system!

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Well I survived the last chemo session! So glad it is over now. 

Dad came with me and we were at the hospital for seven hours in total. We didn’t get home until 7.00 last night. I felt very sleepy and went to bed after dinner. Today, I did not actually get out of bed until 1.00pm and then I had a nice bath to ease the aches and pains. I feel a bit fuzzy round the edges today but do not feel sick at least. My hands, face and knees have swollen a little bit because of the steroids, but it isn’t too bad. I am on the steroids for five days, have to have the injections to boost my blood count on days 5 – 9 of the cycle, and I have to take the antibiotics for the pneumonia three days a week for six months to stop it from coming back.  

I gave the nurses a big box of chocolates and a thank you card just as a way of saying thank you to them for all their help and support. They really have been wonderful, so kind and patient with me. 

They gave me a helpful booklet about what to do at the end of chemotherapy and it has useful information in it, such as how to look after yourself, and to take it easy and rest, and what shampoo to use when hair grows back and what cream to use on your skin etc. 

They said that some people feel that when their treatment stops and they no longer have as much contact with the hospital, they feel as though their safety net has gone, but they have told me that I can ring the hospital at any time if I feel unwell or am worried about anything. This is good as I won’t have to go via my hopeless GPs to get to see the haematology team. 

So now, I just have to rest and take it easy until I have my scan in five weeks time. I will try and work as much as I can, but it will take six months to a year before I recover from this. My energy and immune system will still be low for some time yet so I will still have to remember to be careful to avoid crowded places and potential infection catching situations. 

I would just like to thank all the friends and family who have given me such phenomenal support and encouragement over the past six months. My wonderful friends who have visited me and sent me presents to cheer me up, kept me sane and made me laugh when I needed it. My amazing future in-laws, who have been so kind and generous with their gifts and words of encouragement.  

Especially my parents and Chris who have been a tower of strength to me. I don’t believe I could have done it without you. Dad – who has attended every chemotherapy session with me and visited me every day without fail when I was in hospital,  sat by my side throughout, keeping me company and cheering me up when I cry, always looking on the positive side and reminding me of this when I feel unhappy. Mum – who has made me laugh with her funny stories and explained to me how I am feeling even when I don’t understand myself. And of course Chris, my wonderful future husband who has been the most supportive, caring and patient partner that anyone could wish for, looking after me and caring for me in his own gentle way, his never ending support and love have really helped me so much. His visits three times a day when I was in hospital kept me going through what I can honestly say was one of the lowest points of my life. 

So, thank you everyone for reading this blog so far, and for the fantastic comments you have written. I will of course update it again when it comes to scan time and in the meantime, would ask that you keep your fingers crossed for me once more that this is the end of this particular episode of my life.

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I saw the consultant yesterday and he said that my blood count was slightly low, but nothing to worry about, he would still let me have the chemotherapy today. I had to have a bone marrow stimulating injection just to be on the safe side. 

So today is the last session. The doctor said that after today,  I will have to go and have my PET scan in about five weeks time and I will go back to the clinic about two weeks after that to get the results. He said that if the result shows that there are still cancerous cells I will have to have further treatment, but if it is clear, I will just have to go back to the clinic every three months for two years for a blood test to make sure it hasn’t come back and then every six months for eight years. He said that he thought I would float through the treatment without any complications, but there have been a few but I got there in the end. 

So at 1.00 today I will be off to the medical day case unit for hopefully the last time. I am just going to pop out to Waitrose in a minute to buy a nice box of chocolates for my nurses who have been fantastic with me throughout the treatment. 

I am hoping that I won’t feel too bad after this one. The consultant said that it may take 6 months to a year to recover from this fully, it will be a few months before my immunity and energy levels start to recover so even though my treatment will have finished, I will still have to be careful to avoid infection. He said that I must have the flu jab too which will offer some protection. 

Will update again this weekend!

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I am counting down the days now. It was (hopefully) one week yesterday until the last treatment. 

I am seeing my consultant on Thursday morning and having a blood test to make sure blood count is up to scratch! Then hospital on Friday, all being well, for the last “drip feed” as my boss calls it. 

I am hoping that the consultant is going to say that I am ok now, and I won’t need any further treatments. I feel ok, just very very tired now. It isn’t like normal tiredness where you just carry on doing what you have to do and perhaps have a couple of early nights, it is like complete exhaustion some days, and the only thing to do is to go to bed (or not get out of bed!). I have never felt anything like it before. The tiredness seems a little better in the last few days, and my head is much better than it was last week.  I feel as though I have had enough now. My body has had about as much as it can take over the last few months, but seems to have coped with the treatment so far pretty well. 

So, this could be my last Saturday as a chemotheray patient. I am asking all the lovely subscribers to my blog who give me so much support with their kind comments to keep their fingers crossed for me!!

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I am back at work today. Last week was pretty much a disaster!! I felt too dizzy and light headed, I just could not work at all really. I went to the hospital again on Friday because I nearly fainted again. Luckily, I knew what was coming this time and was able to sit down before I fell down. I was at the hospital most of Friday and they could not find anything wrong with me. They said that my temperature, blood pressure and blood cell count were fine (the injections are working!) and I was showing no signs of an infection. The doctor said that I had nothing to worry about and I just had to take it easy and not rush about.

Over the course of the weekend I felt better, and now my head is ok, I am just feeling extreme tiredness. I have heard that the fatigue can get worse during the last stages of the treatment. I think this is what may be happening. Also, when I started this treatment, the consultant warned me that menstruation can stop and it did. On Friday, it strangely came back again which I think may have contributed to this problem with my head.

I am pleased it has started again even though I had stomach pains all Saturday, as I think it shows that my body is fighting to function normally. Also, chemotherapy can bring on early menopause, and that was always in the back of my mind too.

So, I am hoping to have a more productive week this week. As long as I keep going to bed very early, I think it will be ok. We ended up having a fun weekend babysitting our little nieces and nephews on Saturday night, going to a BBQ on Sunday and out for lunch in Arundel yesterday.

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